Flunking the human test

A report card published recently in the Seattle Times states that out of 500 major American corporations, only 10% of them received an acceptable rating (grade C or above) in how well they dealt with customers over the phone. Only nine companies (that's the number 9, not 9%) received an A rating. The article goes on to state that entire industries (cable and satellite TV, insurance, software) are failing to meet minimum standards for telephone customer service.

The report card was compiled by Paul English, creator of the brilliant gethuman 500 database. It rates companies for such criteria as:

• Can you hit zero to speak to an operator?
• Does the system let you know how long you will have to remain on hold?
• Does the caller have to repeat information such as names and account numbers?
• How easy is it to understand the human customer representative who eventually answers?

Some companies have begun to respond to complaints about confusing menus, hard-to-find operators and other annoyances and started to make changes. For the rest of them, the volunteer-run web site at gethuman.com provides a constantly updated cheat sheet for how to avoid hold rage and actually speak to a human being. Whether or not you'll be able to understand them when they answer the phone is another issue.

Give me what I want

In case you haven't seen it, Frontline (PBS) just re-aired its program The Persuaders on Tuesday evening. It takes an in-depth look at how brands are succeeding and failing at using emotional and psychological marketing methods to connect with consumers in a landscape that is becoming more complex and personalized by the minute.

It features some very thought-provoking segments with NYU communication professor Mark Crispin Miller, legendary market researcher Clotaire Rapaille, and Saatchi and Saatchi Worldwide CEO Kevin Roberts, author of the book Lovemarks, the Future Beyond Brands.

The entire program can be watched online at:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/persuaders/

C-Wrappywriters Wanted

C-Wrappywriters Wanted

I was walking on 9th Avenue the other day when I came across a sign taped to the window of a sandwich shop that read:

"Give us a sentence for our ad, we will give you $1000.00 cash."

The web site address they gave out led me to ­ hands down, beyond a shadow of a doubt ­ the absolute worst web site I have seen in the 14 years I have been online.

Needless to say, I did submit a few sentences of my own. Perhaps after learning a little about their unique product, you'll be inspired to do the same. I mean, a thousand bucks is a thousand bucks.

www.chicagowrap.com

Nissan Sentra: The official car of the homeless

Nissan Sentra: The official car of the homeless

My jaw nearly dropped to the sidewalk upon encountering this work of advertising genius on display at the corner of West 33rd St. and 9th Ave.

I have actually known people in my life who at one time or another have lived out of cars. I imagine it's not exactly a pleasant experience. I had to live in a car, a brand new subcompact import probably would not be my first choice.

And for non-homeless New Yorkers who can't afford to keep a car because of their ridiculously high rents, it's doubly insulting.

As it turns out, this is part of an online campaign called 7 Days in a Sentra where a lousy actor blogs about the joys of automotive living.